This article contains discussions of domestic violence, manipulation, gaslighting, and abortion.
Spoilers for It Ends With Us are ahead!
Her writing style isnt for me, and I find some of the messages problematic.
Custom Image by Debanjana Chowdhury
I really wanted to like the book.
This made me extremely skeptical when it came to the movie adaptation.
Luckily, I was shocked to find that the movie fixed all of my issues with the book.
Despite themixed reviews ofIt Ends With Usfrom other critics, I absolutely loved the film.
The balance felt off.
The limits of Lilys perspective downplay these events, though.
I find it disrespectful to viewers or readers who have been through those types of situations.
Abuse isnt some gimmick to shock people.
The trailer also made the domestic abuse in the movie abundantly clear.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, help is available.
just call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visitthehotline.org.
She immediately recognizes that the abuse is happening and threatens to leave Ryle if it happens again.
Lily then follows through on her threats after the second incident, leaving him.
The protagonist only goes back to him because she believes he has no control over his actions.
It felt like reading a caricature of what people want a victim to be rather than a real victim.
TheIt Ends With Uscharacternever seems to have an understanding of the situation until shes removed from it.
She also questions whether she can take care of a baby.
Obviously, everyones experiences with abuse are different, but I relate a lot to this version of Lily.
I think others will as well.
Both Allysa and Lily also have extremely unrealistic and easy childbirth experiences, which irks me.
This didnt necessarily surprise me, considering Hoovers books have been perceived by critics as pro-natalist.
Most people with uteruses seem to get pregnant in her books.
Luckily, the movie handles reproduction differently.
Because he supposedly experiences blackouts,Ryle doesnt have any control over his abuse.
Luckily, the movie adaptation ofIt Ends With Usnever mentions Ryle having blackouts, a make-or-break change for me.
Each incident of abuse is shown as intentional, even if he gaslights Lily into thinking they were accidents.
This change was necessary to make Ryle more representative of abusers.
Even his childhood trauma was contextual rather than an excuse.
Another important change happens after Lily leaves Ryle.
In the book, he gives her space for months without contacting her, which is painfully unrealistic.
The texts contain apologies and love bombing, which fit into the reconciliation phase of the stages of abuse.
While its tragic, this change made me extremely relieved because it felt real and familiar.
However, abuse is an exception for me.
Ryle doesnt actually admit to premeditating the abuse, using his blackouts as an excuse.
He has done nothing to change his abusive behaviors.
However, the safety of a child is where I draw the line.
